sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
