Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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