I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
