you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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