JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
