Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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