Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
