what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
