her vagine was all disorganized.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
