I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
