he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
