Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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