Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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