The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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