i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so let's talk penis.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
