The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
