Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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