No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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