I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
