is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
