They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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