you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
