I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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