It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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