Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
