I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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