i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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