we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
True college students do jello shots in the library
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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