everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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