this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hippo gnu deer
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
