I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
