Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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