we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
