nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i dont even know how to be here
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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