Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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