Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
