pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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