Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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