another moral hangover. fuck.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
