Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
