I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
