Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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