i already hear my dad disowning me
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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