her vagine was all disorganized.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
