Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
