so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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