i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
