did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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