Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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