Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
