she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
