How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
