Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
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I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
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I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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