U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
