I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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