you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
