Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
