She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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